


Keeps Us Warm

by cosmic_llin



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Drinking, Female Friendship, Gen, Podfic Available, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-09
Updated: 2015-02-09
Packaged: 2018-03-11 09:41:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3322742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmic_llin/pseuds/cosmic_llin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The threads that connect the women of Deep Space Nine.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Keeps Us Warm

**Author's Note:**

  * For [silly_cleo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/silly_cleo/gifts).



2371

Keiko sat on Jadzia’s couch and watched the light from the candles reflect in her half-empty wine glass. Across the room muffled swearing and occasionally garments flew from the closet.

‘Jadzia... why am I here?’ she ventured.

Jadzia’s head popped out from behind the closet door.

‘You’re the only person on this station whose fashion sense I trust,’ she said. ‘God knows I love Nerys, but she’d wear a paper bag if I let her and she’d be asleep after ten minutes of this. I need your expertise.’

‘And it can’t wait?’

Jadzia straightened, hands on her hips. ‘Keiko - you’re leaving for _six months_. If I don’t get my clothes sorted out before you go, they’re going to be in an even worse mess by the time you get back. Is that what you want?’

‘Of course not,’ said Keiko. ‘I just think you’re making this more difficult than it needs to be! Just put anything you haven’t worn since this time last year back in the replicator.’

‘How am I supposed to know what I haven’t worn in a year?’

Keiko stared. ‘You don’t even sync your wardrobe to the computer? No wonder your things are a mess!’

‘Besides,’ Jadzia continued like she hadn’t heard, ‘half of this stuff is handmade. There’s no way I’m putting it in the replicator. If it doesn’t fit me any more, it has to be given away to a good home. Now come tell me what I should keep.’

Keiko drank the rest of her wine and set the glass down. ‘Well, I can’t tell you unless you try things on,’ she said.

‘Fine, I’ll try things on,’ said Jadzia, shrugging out of her uniform and grabbing a handful of dresses.

Keiko topped up both of their wine glasses, sat back down and watched the fashion parade, helping now and then with a fastening. Jadzia had been behind the closet door for a while when Keiko heard a thump and a muffled squeak.

‘Jadzia?’ she asked.

‘Um... a little help?’

Keiko darted over and found Jadzia stuck halfway into a dress, with one arm poking out and her head sideways. Keiko snorted.

‘Less laughing, more helping?’ Jadzia suggested.

‘Laughing, me?’ said Keiko, getting closer to work out exactly what had gone wrong. ‘Jadzia - how old were you when you last wore this dress?’

‘Well, let me see... I’m pretty sure I wore it to my cousin Ekara’s birthday party that time, and that was the year she had the fire dancers, so... sixteen?’

‘Sixteen? Jadzia... no wonder it doesn’t fit!’

Keiko tugged and the dress flew off at last.

‘Yeah,’ sighed Jadzia. ‘I know, but it has sentimental value... do you think in a few years Molly would like it?’

Keiko shook her head. ‘Oh no, you are not palming off all your old clothes onto me. You can donate them, there’s a clothing bank on Bajor. We’ll start a pile.’

She folded the dress and put it on an empty patch of floor. Jadzia sat down cross-legged and sighed.

‘It’s just so complicated now,’ she said. ‘Back when I was just Jadzia I dressed pretty differently. And I don’t want to throw away all the clothes I had back then, because it feels like I’m throwing away that Jadzia - but at the same time, I don’t really like the same things any more. I mean... look at this blanket.’

She pulled a blanket from the back of a shelf. It was dark blue, with an embroidered design of swirls and loops in silver. It looked soft and warm.

‘My grandmother made this blanket,’ said Jadzia. ‘I’ve owned it since I was a child. I’d curl up in it to read. It made me feel better when I was sad. Since I was joined I can’t even look at it. Something about the pattern just makes my eyes hurt. But I can’t bear to throw it away.’

‘I’m sorry,’ said Keiko, sitting down opposite Jadzia, their knees touching. ‘That must be so strange.’

Jadzia shrugged. ‘Being joined... it’s wonderful. But you don’t get to keep everything you had before.’

‘It’s such a shame about the blanket,’ said Keiko, picking up a corner of it and following a line of embroidery with a finger. ‘It’s beautiful.’

Jadzia’s eyes lit up. ‘Do you want it?’

‘Jadzia...’

‘No, I’m serious. I know you’d take care of it and I’d feel better if someone was using it. You could take it to Bajor with you, to keep you warm on your expedition.’

Keiko had practice at resisting imploring faces, but Jadzia’s was just too good. ‘All right, I’ll take it with me,’ she said. ‘But let me know if you ever decide you want it back, ok?’

‘I will,’ said Jadzia. ‘Thanks Keiko, you’re a good friend.’

‘Enough flattery, we still have work to do,’ Keiko said. ‘Try these pants on. I’ll give you ten slips of latinum if they still fit.’

‘Keep your money,’ sighed Jadzia, folding them and adding them to the charity pile.

 

2373

The door to Miles and Keiko’s bedroom slid open, and Keiko’s head poked out into the main living area.

‘You’re still awake?’ she whispered.

‘Yeah...’ said Nerys. ‘I couldn’t sleep.’

‘Baby’s kicking?’

‘Like he’s trying to escape.’

Nerys caught the edge of sadness in Keiko’s expression before she smoothed it away with a smile. ‘Want to come and feel?’ she offered.

Keiko hovered in the doorway. ‘If you don’t mind...’

‘Mind? Of course not, get over here. Ow... was Molly this violent in the womb?’

Keiko settled on the couch beside her and let Nerys guide her hand across her belly.

‘There he is - feel it?’

Keiko grinned at the movement. ‘Yes... but Nerys, your hands are cold. You need to wrap up warmer.’

‘I’m fine, honestly, I just...’

‘I won’t have you sitting out here cold and awake,’ said Keiko. ‘Hold on a second, I’ll fetch you a blanket.’

Nerys thought of protesting, and then wondered why. She was a little cold. A blanket would probably be nice.

Keiko returned in a moment with a dark blue blanket, intricately patterned in silver.

‘This is beautiful,’ said Nerys. ‘Is it from Earth?’

Keiko shook her head. ‘Trill. Jadzia gave it to me a couple of years back. I took it when I went to Bajor. I was really glad of it during those cold nights in the Janitza Mountains.’

She unfolded it and tucked it around Nerys. ‘There,’ she said with satisfaction.

Nerys pulled the blanket tighter around her, enjoying the softness. ‘Look,’ she said after a moment, ‘it’s a big blanket, there’s room under here for both of us. Snuggle up.’

She lifted the blanket to make space. Keiko shuffled closer, curling up with her feet on the couch, and Nerys drew her in with an arm around her so that Keiko’s head rested on her shoulder.

‘Here,’ she said, pulling Keiko’s arm across her bump. ‘Now you can feel it better.’

She felt Keiko’s sigh and wasn’t sure whether it was disappointment or contentment.

‘Think he’ll be a botanist too, when he grows up?’ she asked.

Keiko laughed. ‘I don’t know - Molly seems to get her knack with plants from the O’Brien side. I think it would be fair if at least one other person in this family didn’t kill every green thing they touched.’ She paused, thinking. ‘Wasn’t your father a farmer?’

‘Mmm,’ Nerys confirmed. ‘Katterpods, mostly. But he had a garden too. He loved that garden so much. I used to help him, when I was younger. I learned a lot.’

‘Then there’s already one other person in this family who knows how to take care of plants,’ Keiko said, sounding satisfied. ‘Maybe between the two of us, this little one will get the hang of it too.’

Nerys’ heart skipped. ‘Maybe,’ she said.

 

  
2375

Nobody had warned her, Ezri thought. Nobody had said, when your best friend of three lifetimes transcends corporeal existence and goes to live with omnipotent beings, there will be a lot of paperwork.

It was the counselor’s job to take care of it when someone died or disappeared - the counselor and the first officer, which Nerys still technically was until the official orders came through, although nobody had any doubt that she’d be placed in command of the station.

Paperwork was not Nerys’ forte, and Ezri’s hastily curtailed training had stopped short of anything but the sadly straightforward wartime losses, so after the dust had settled a little, they had spent an entire day holed up in Ezri’s office trying to figure it all out. The official guidelines, unsurprisingly, often didn’t apply to their particular situation, so a few times they’d had to add their own boxes to the forms.

They’d finished it as the night shift was beginning and they’d ended up in Nerys’ quarters with a bottle of vintage spring wine that she had been saving for something special.

‘To Benjamin,’ said Ezri, raising her glass.

Nerys raised her glass too, nodded, drank. Ezri wondered if she was thinking of her captain, her friend or her Emissary. At least for Ezri he had always been Benjamin before he was anything else.

‘It was always me leaving, before,’ she said. ‘Curzon, Jadzia... but Benjamin was always the same. I’m not sure I know how Dax works without Sisko any more.’

Nerys smiled. ‘Of course you do. And anyway, you’re not Dax without Sisko. He isn’t gone.’

‘I know, he’s with the Prophets.’

‘He is, but I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about how knowing someone leaves a part of them with you, whether they’re there or not. You’ve been changed because you knew him. We all have.’

Ezri nodded. Too much to think about just now. ‘Time for more spring wine,’ she said, leaning over to the table. Her hand slipped, the glass tipped over and smashed on the hard surface. For a moment Ezri felt like crying. The glass was almost a good enough excuse.

‘Don’t worry, it doesn’t matter,’ said Nerys, calm and soothing. ‘I’ll pick up the glass - could you get a towel to mop it up?’

Ezri went to the closet, opened it, rummaged for a towel and spotted something she... Jadzia... she... hadn’t thought about in years. She picked it up, ran a hand over it.

The moment must have lasted longer than she realised, because suddenly Nerys was behind her, leaning past her to grab the forgotten towel.

‘How did this end up here?’ Ezri asked. ‘I gave it to Keiko, years ago.’

‘And Keiko gave it to me,’ Nerys smiled. ‘I used it a lot while I was carrying Yoshi, and when I moved out... well, it was nice to have it with me.’

‘When you were missing them,’ Ezri said.

Nerys tilted her head in acknowledgement and went to mop up the spill. Ezri followed her, still carrying the blanket.

‘It’s funny,’ she said, ‘it doesn’t hurt my eyes any more.’

Nerys smiled. ‘Do you want it back? I don’t need it like I did.’

Ezri thought about it, tracing the pattern with her fingers. ‘No. It’s nice of you to offer but this is Jadzia’s, not mine. Although I’m... she’s... we’re glad it was a comfort for you. It was for her, too.’

‘It’s accumulated a lot of good feelings,’ said Nerys.

Ezri smiled. ‘You know who could probably use some of that right now?’

* * *

Kasidy was still awake when Nerys paged, and the offer of some company did sound good. It was so quiet without Ben. Jake had been around a lot, but they exhausted one another with their sadness sometimes, both of them in too deep to bring the other out. He was out with Nog tonight. She hoped he was doing ok.

‘Come in,’ Kasidy called when the door chimed, and Nerys entered and went straight to the replicator to get them some tea, dropping a folded blue something on a table as she went.

‘How was your day?’ she asked.

Kasidy was grateful for a slightly easier question than the impossible “how are you?”

‘Long,’ she admitted. ‘Strange. It’s hard to imagine that this is how it’s going to be now... just days and days without him until it’s months and years. And I don’t know whether to act as though he’s dead or as though he’s gone on a long mission. Time may be meaningless to the Prophets, but it sure isn’t to me.’

She sipped her tea, and Nerys said nothing. Probably because she was smart enough to know that Kasidy didn’t want to hear right now about how the Prophets knew best.

‘How’s the baby doing?’ Nerys finally asked instead.

Kasidy smiled. ‘Just fine. I saw Julian this morning, he says everything’s going as it should.’

‘That’s great!’ said Nerys. ‘Let me know if there’s anything you need. Really.’

She looked steadily at her, and Kasidy understood that when she said that, she meant it.

‘Thank you, I promise I will,’ she said.

‘Listen, I brought you something,’ Nerys said. ‘It’s kind of from me, and kind of from Ezri, and from Keiko... and from Jadzia.’

She fetched the blue and silver blanket, handed it over with a barely noticeable wistful look. Kasidy opened it up, admiring the detail of the stitching.

‘It’s beautiful,’ she said. ‘But what...?’

‘Well, first it was Jadzia’s,’ said Nerys. ‘Her grandmother made it for her. When she was a little girl and she couldn’t sleep, she would curl up in it and read. Then it was Keiko’s, when it was winter down on Bajor. Then it was mine, when I was carrying Yoshi. And now... well... it’s kept us all warm, one way or another. We thought it was about time you had a turn.’

Kasidy smiled. ‘Thank you, Nerys.’

Nerys nodded. Kasidy wrapped the blanket around her shoulders and it settled on her. Nerys was right, it was warm. She tucked it closer to her and smiled.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic of] Keeps Us Warm](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13149750) by [exmanhater](https://archiveofourown.org/users/exmanhater/pseuds/exmanhater)




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